Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i wish my penis had a tongue
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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