Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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