My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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