lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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