I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
