idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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