I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
