i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize