He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
