I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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