READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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