He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
