wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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