That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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