This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
