Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
A+ Viking dick
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
