He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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