i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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