I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
