Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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