No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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