I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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