There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
