Whod you bang
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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