Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
