Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
