fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
