I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she told me i tasted like america
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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