Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
