Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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