I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
