my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
