My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
