I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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