Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Shame - the story of my life.
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