'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
