physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize