he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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