is your mom at the bar?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
