so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Randomize
