She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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