I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
