We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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