we have officially lost it.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
