Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
