WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
