i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Randomize
