Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
