I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
ugly people sure do ruin things
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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