she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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