I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
