Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
