thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
His nipple licking is glorious
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