we have officially lost it.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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