Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
