I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
