Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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