tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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