We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
