ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
