judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
