when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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