the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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