Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
