We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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