I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
