doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
