It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
bring money and cleavage
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
